Time for a Chuckle

The artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings. "I have good news and bad news," the gallery owner replied. "The good news is that a gentlemen inquired about your work and wondered if your paintings would appreciate in value after your death. I told him they would and he bought all of your 9 paintings." The artist exclaimed,". That's wonderful, what's the bad news?" The gallery owner replied, " The bad news is that the buyer was your doctor." 

Two guys are shopping in a supermarket when their carts collide. One guy says: "I'm sorry, I was distracted, I'm looking for my wife and I'm getting a little worried." The other guy says: "What a coincidence, I'm looking for my wife too, but maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?" "She is cute, slender, medium built blonde with long hair, long legs, firm boobs and a tight butt. What does your wife look like?" "Oh, never mind. Let's look for yours!"

A crowded airline flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and demanded, " I have to be on this flight, and you better make it snappy!" The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir, I'll be happy to help you, but you would have to wait for your turn." The passenger was unimpressed. He loudly asked: "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: "May I have your attention please, " she began, her voice heard loud and clear throughout the terminal, "We have a passenger here at Gate 8 who does not know who he is. Anybody who may be able to help him find his identity, please come to gate 8." With the folks behind him starting to laugh, the man glared at the airline agent and hissed: "F--- you!" Without flinching, she smiled and said: I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too!"  

At an auction a farmer stood up and yelled, "I've lost my wallet with $500 in it. I'll give $50 to the finder!" A man in the back of the room yelled back, "I'll give $75 to the finder!" 


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