Time for More Chuckle

A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old to school, made an illegal turn at a red light. "Well, I hope this little booboo didn't bother anybody," he said. "I think it's o.k. Dad," his son said. "The police car behind us did the same thing!"

Michael walked into the bar and saw an old friend drinking by himself. Approaching his friend he said, "Hello Chris, you look awful. What's wrong?" "My mother died last week and left me $25,000," "Boy, that's tough." "Then in June my dad died, leaving me $50,000." "Gosh, both parents gone in such a short time? No wonder you're depressed." "Last month my aunt died and left me $12,000." "That's a lot to deal with. Losing three family members in three months is terrible." Then this month," Chris continued, "nothing, not a single dime!"

Three old ladies are sitting in a cafe, chatting away. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning I was standing in the middle of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I was going up or down the stairs." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or getting up." The third lady smiles smugly, "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a surprised look on her face she says, "Excuse me, there is someone at the door!"

A defendant in a lawsuit involving a large sum of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case I'm ruined." It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer." "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of expensive cigars?" "Oh no! This judge can't be influenced. He is known for his ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. It would definitely backfire." Eventually the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse he said to his lawyer, " "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!" "You didn't send any cigars, did you?" Yes I did, but I used the plaintiffs name!"